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So I’m waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I’ll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I’m scared thats how I’d like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until I’m taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
’till these rainy days that make them stay
And then I’ll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they’ll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we’re on our own
Oh,
But I’m about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I’ll find it in myself
So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you’re not here
And I think I’ll want to be alone
So please understand if I dont answer the phone
I’ll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know
Ohh..
But I’m about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I’ll find it in myself
It’s been really great to be home…atleast to see my mom. Things are still the same with my father but that doesn’t surprise me — he has to want to change and he doesn’t. I am not ready at all to go back to school. I’ve enjoyed having down time…which will change when I go back. Meh! Make a Difference Day is in about two weeks. It’s crunch time now 
Also…KENYA! <3
I am going to Kenya on December 27…it’s official Yay!! Nyumbani Village here I come!
Sometimes people say really awesome things.
For example, from breakfast this morning:
“Philosophy is my least favorite class…and I have a 32 in Algebra.”
and from Philosophy class, the wise words of Chuck:
“You can’t eat ideals.” on the topic of choosing ideals over food, like Gandhi.
What I really want is not money or success or to change the world. Deep inside, I want to make a difference…but I don’t need to move mountains. Just to know one person has lived or breathed easier because of my actions. I don’t want to be wealthy and I don’t need to even be financially secure. I need to be happy. I need to be with someone who loves me like I love them. Someone who gets me. I want to have a family someday. I want to do something I am passionate about, not just something I could live with doing for the rest of my life. I don’t want to just exist, I want to actively live and to seize every opportunity and let every moment be the best it can be. Life is short and it escapes us all too fast. I don’t want it to pass me by for the idle possessions of the world. I don’t crave a nice new car — I would rather legs that worked so I could walk. I don’t crave money because it can never buy me what really matters. I crave passion, I crave connection. I crave that feeling you get when something truly makes you feel alive.
It’s true that sometimes the hardest decisions of your life are the right ones…and it might hurt like hell for a while, but you have to be confident that it’ll be better in the end. For everyone involved.
I am going to go through a lot of eyeliner this week.
Happy Birthdayyyy!
The knee is coming along well. I started physical therapy today and I have 78 degrees of movement now, which is pretty good and should continue to improve. My knee also hurts a ton but it’ll be worth it when I can frolick and play again. Whee.
Oh..and Maine on Sunday with Ryan and Renner! Wooo!! 
So my lesson yesterday was AMAZING. She is an incredibly talented lady. She told me I would be learning without her really teaching me anything…and it’s so true. I’m super excited for the rest of my lessons this summer, as well as working on a couple songs with her. I also got to sing Peel Me a Grape, one of my recital pieces from last semester, for her. It’s apparently one of her signature pieces and it was just amazing to sing with her. It definitely gives me something to look forward to this summer rather than moping about because of my knee.
So today I am beginning my voice lessons with Anne Turner, the senior Artist-In-Residence at Skidmore College. I’m super nervous. She is one of the best teachers in the area and I’ve only been taking lessons since October…not to mention she does graduate studies lessons. Ahhh! Andy made the arrangements for me, which is super nice of him and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to study with her otherwise. On top of all of this, she teaches Opera. I don’t sing opera. Ehhh. Wish me luck! Afterward, Mom and I are going out with my Uncle Mike and his family before they move to North Carolina. It should be nice considering I haven’t seen him in 2 years. Wooooo.
